We all have those people and relationships in our lives that we have either thrived on or thrown away. We have those people who make everyday the best day of your life. Then there are those people who make you dread life.
Ladies, I know you all have that guy who has made you regret ever letting him in...or giving him your first kiss...letting him take you on your first date. That guy who we all pretend that we hate when we're all still hopelessly in love with. That relationship that we wish all of our might would work. The one that we know never will. I know you know exactly what I'm talking about. And I know that you want exactly what I want, that man who makes you feel so cherished. That man who makes you feel beautiful on your worst of days. That man who whispers those sweet nothings into your ear and kisses you sweetly on the temple. Also, the man that you know beyond the shadow of a doubt you can put your trust in that would never intentionally hurt you.
So I'm going to tell you something that may sound really crazy...I have three guys in our lives.
I feel like I've had the boy in my life that taught me alot. He showed me clearly what was wrong and what I didn't want in a man. He burned me and gave me scars and pain. He's also the one that I've had the hardest time getting over. There's just something about him but I know it will never work out because he didn't care as much about me as much as he cared about himself and the way he felt. He treated me as indispensable and I respect myself enough to say and know that I'm not. I'm worth someone's time, and since obviously it wasn't his, I'm not going to sit and wait for him to realize what he could have had. Even though it's been hard, I've moved on from that boy.
Then there's the boy who's the "possibility."He's the boy I've known all my life who I've always had chemistry with, He's the question mark in my life. I've gone back and forth mentally and after much deliberation and pondering, I've decided, he's not what I want. Yes, there are things about him that I like but not enough for me to actually like him or think about him in any other way than a friend. He just doens't meet up to the bar. He's very immature...just a boy really. Definitely underdeveloped brain... so I won't even let myself go there. We're better off the way we are now... but believe me, in my moments of weakness, I considered him. Kind of like, there was no one better so why not think of my friend? Crazy, I know.
Then there's the man in my life that I've dreamed up... so yes, he's not real....YET. He's the man who is just that, a man. He is the perfect gentleman. He knows when to speak and when I just want to think. He can feel what I'm feeling and respond accordingly. He looks to my needs instead of his own. He would never intentionally hurt or disrespect me. He treats me like the princess I am. He has a sense of self and he's confident but not cocky with who he is and doesn't feel the need to prove himself to anyone but his heavely father. This man will have a love for God that will shine through everything he does and because of that love, he'll be able to love me the right way for the right reason. He is my perfect match....and you know, I feel like I'm ready for him. I've had my run with those other guys. I feel like my heart is ripe and ready for a relationship with this wonderful man that I've fabricated. I'm like sick of waiting. I just want to be happily "in a relationship" Like really, is it that much to ask? All of my friends are. Kids, 3 and 4 years younger than me are dating and having their "one year anniversarys." I haven't even had my first date!! But when I see these people, I say to myself," Are they in the right relatonship or is it one that was convenient or available when they were lonely. And I ask myself, " Do I want that bad enough that I would compromise just to have it?"
Who's heart isn't ready for the perfect,opposite, compliment to them? Who doesn't want to feel cherished and loved?
I feel like I'm ready for "him" but I'm not the one who determines when my movie moment happens and I bump into "Mr. Perfect". And who knows, he may not be ready to bump into me, his "Mrs. Perfect." (and yes, I do believe God makes one perfect person for everyone He intends to be married)
So I know you're saying to yourself, "This girl is overly hormonal and lonely and insecure and she is like every stupid women you see in the movies who is desperate for male attention." But this is not so, my friend. I've said all this to say to all my lady friends that its OKAY to dream and think of what your future spouse will be like. Also, that its OKAY to ask and talk to God about why He hasn't nudged Mr. Right towards you. These moments are ones where we can pray for patience and peace and passion... all from God. Now, in my perpetually single state, is the time when I can grow close to my Jesus and fall in love with HIM then He( not me,because if it were up to me, I'd meet him tomorrow and be married by January{jk}) can decide when I'm ready to have the great responsibility and privilege to love one of His super fortunate princes. (#confidentnotcocky)
Use this time in your life when you're wondering about what "your man" will be like to pray for him. He is somewhere in the world having these same thoughts about you...Isn't that comforting?
Also, to my lovelies, build your standards, now, when there is no handsome boy coming around to beguile or distract you. If you fail to plan, you plan to fail. Make a list of what you will and will not do. What you expect and what you disdain so that when the time comes, you're prepared and you can say, "Is this what I want for myself?" "Am I selling myself short.?" It's important to have standards and I know from it experience that it will save you from heart break.
Lastly, just remember that God knows your heart. He knows and cares about how you feel. If you're feeling exceptionally lonely and you feel like you just need a hug, God gives the best, warmest hugs of anyone. He knows exactly what you need and He's right there to give it. If you're feeling impatient, remember that He knows the beginning from the end and in His timing, He will put you with who He made to be with. I ask that you don't compromise in the seasons of waiting. Trying to do anything your way over God's in life will always bring you up empty. Remember that there are millions of girls in the world who feel the same exact way.
"Be still before the LORD and wait patiently for him; do not fret..."
simplytammy<3
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