You know, the world is full of people that love God, and have given their lives to serve Him and His purposes. They are led by Him to places, and given specific things to do. I like to believe that I am one of those people. I love this God. I desire to serve Him with everything in me, but I can honestly say that I haven't thought much about WHY I do...My motivations have been influenced by my upbringing, by the people that taught me from a young age, and from seeing the lives of people who have chosen not to serve God. I believe that those are valid motivators but really, what is MY reason? Why do I have a deep conviction to know God, to love Him, and to give everything I have for His sake?
When you hear about people that were "raised by the church," I can tell you that its absolutely true. I was brought up in a christian family that went to church every Sunday, and was very devoted to serving in the church. My parents are deacons in the church that they've now been attending for 30 years. We were, we are, "that family", and I was "that girl". God, church, righteousness, and all of the "bible stories" were enstilled in me from a very young age. Being that I was "that girl" I almost became desensitized to the truth. I grew comfortable, maybe even laxadasical, in the knowledge of God. Yes, I loved God, as I knew how to, and I lived my life in a way that I grew up learning was right, but I really have a personal relationship with Him.
Fast forward to my teen years. I didn't even know what a personal, committed life in Christ was, because I was riding on the fact that I was a good girl who didn't lie, cheat, or steal.
I can remember the day that all of that changed.
My family was sitting in our living room watching the O'Reilly Factor, and literally out of nowhere, I was bombarded with suicidal thoughts. I remember sitting there trying to push the thoughts away, but I felt I was being attacked not only in my heart, but in my mind. When I realized that trying to think about something else wasn't going to work, I went to my bedroom and pulled out my Bible. I started to vigorously read the Psalms and pray aloud. That was one of the most frightening moments of my life. I feared what I would do to myself if left alone. I kept reading, and turned on a cd, and I could feel the attack begin to subside.
As I sat there that night with my life literally in my hands, I prayed to God. I asked Him to take my life. Yes, as I child I asked Him into my heart, but that night was the night that I recognized how much I needed God because I knew only He could save me from myself.
These attacks went on for quite a while, but I began to learn how to combat them... The word of God, and unceasing prayer. At that time in my life, you would not see me without my bible.
These attacks for my spirit were so severe that if I even saw a knife, I'd start to think of cutting myself, and would have to leave the room.
Looking back on those delicate months of my life, I see that while I was scared, God was laying the foundation to my Christian walk. I could not go a day with reading the Bible. Bottom line, I needed God. I had to have Him. He brought me out of the lowest point of my life. I can say that without Him, I may not be here, today.
So what does this have to do with my reason for preaching the gospel? I'd have to reiterate what I just said. I was at a point that I seriously contemplated ending my life. I was alone and lost, but in the midst of that, He found me. He comforted. He sustained me. He saved me.
Over the years, He's worked in my life, and the lives of my friends and loved ones, and I've had the amazing opportunity to sit back and observe how truly great the God who I serve is. It is my duty, my pleasure, my honor to be able to live my life in servitude to the Creator of the universe.
I now preach the gospel so that people who are just like I was, lost, alone, scared, and searching, can hear the truth and know that their lives can be so much more if they just surrender to Him. I want the world to know that He turns ashes into beauty. I preach the gospel because I can't think of anything better I could be doing with my life.
In realizing why I preach the gospel, its like I almost have a better view of my future. It gives what I'm currently doing with my life, greater purpose, and it puts into better perspective what God has already used me to do.
Have you ever really thought it through? What's your reason? Why do YOU preach the gospel?
